Can’t get no satisfaction…

I was listening to a mother recount a story about her son – she told me how proud she was when her 9 year old stood up to a shop assistant and said, “Well I am not satisfied! Can you please get me your manager!”

I am not sure if I would be proud of a nine year old standing there with their hands on their hips being somewhat petulant, but the mother was adamant that it was a good trait – “You have to stand up for your rights and it is no good to go home unsatisfied!”

This statement made me start to think – the truth is that it is not only Mick Jagger who “Can’t get no satisfaction” it seems to be a consistent malady which impacts the whole of our society. People seem unsatisfied with much of the content of their lives – they are unsatisfied with their car, their job and their current phone plan. People seem to change careers faster than they change their hairstyles and they often express their dissatisfaction in subtle ways… even the default answer to the question “How are you today?” is revealing… “Not too bad” is the common response…what is this, if not a statement of dissatisfaction?

When you look at your life – how do you feel?

If you had to tick a box which varied between: Extremely Satisfied; Somewhat Satisfied; Satisfied; Somewhat Unsatisfied or Extremely Unsatisfied which would you choose?

The problem is that we tend to base our satisfaction upon things which are going to let us down… Influence and strength; wealth and possessions; sex and pleasure; other people; and our own knowledge… The issue is, that none of these are guaranteed and at some point, all of them are going to fail and we are going to be left unsatisfied.

Hedonism is defined as – the pursuit of the ultimate pleasure or indulgence – After years of searching I have found an interesting and delightful truth – the ultimate hedonism is knowing and living responsively to the Lord.

If I seek Him first – everything else I need or want flows out of that.

“As for me, I will see Your face in righteousness; I shall be satisfied when I awake in Your likeness.”                      Psalms 17:15

When I looked at my face in the mirror this morning I realised that I have not yet arrived at my destination but I am at least on the way – how about you?

Let’s head towards satisfaction together!

Substitutions…

I was being looked after very well, I was answering some questions with a small group following a talk I had just given and this helpful woman had taken it upon herself to grab me some food so I didn’t have to break off my conversation. She arranged a nice little fruit platter for me and handed it to me without a word. It was nice fresh fruit and it was very welcome…a few moments later she returned once more and gave me 3 pieces of pineapple to top off my fruit platter – she simply leaned forward said “Pineapple?” and then placed it on my plate. I continued talking for a few moments and then ate a strawberry, a few minutes more talking and I ate the piece watermelon, a little more talking and I bit into the pineapple – but it was immediately obvious that there was something not quite right.

I was expecting a slight crunch, the sweet tropical taste, the slightly acidic flavour and the refreshment which comes from summer fruit – instead I bit into this somewhat soggy, smoky flavoured, chewy substance that for a few seconds was unknown. It looked like pineapple; its colour, texture and context suggested that it was pineapple; but it wasn’t – it was Swiss cheese.

It wasn’t that much of an issue – I like eating cheese with fruit but it was just a surprize, because I was expecting something else, it took a moment to adjust and then everything was fine.

It could have been worse I guess, if I was expecting a pineapple flavoured milkshake and had been handed a cheese flavoured one or maybe if I was making tuna mornay and the substitution went the other way…uggggh!

The woman who was looking after me was so apologetic, fearing that I may have been lactose intolerant or just generally intolerant but she didn’t really need to worry – it was no big deal.

Some substitutions are welcome – when you get an upgrade of a meal or a flight.

Some substitutions are disappointing – when you get the understudy at a show you have been looking forward too or an ingredient is changed in the meal because the kitchen ran out.

There are certain things that cannot and should never be substituted – when it comes to personal and spiritual help – substitutions are not welcome at all… because…

“No one is holy like the LORD, For there is none besides You, Nor is there any rock like our God.”                                          1 Samuel 2:2

It takes a village…

I was watching my birds the other day and I observed that, whilst it was clear that there was one pair of birds raising the newly hatched chicks, a number of other birds were getting involved. At one point several birds were gathered around the breeding box and at other times different birds were contributing nesting materials. They even took turns in feeding the young chicks who have such voracious appetites. The whole ‘flock’ seemed to be involved and it reminded me of the old adage which states “It take a village to raise a child”.

Raising children is a challenge and an opportunity like no other…you have the opportunity to guide, shape and launch an individual into what is hopefully a successful and meaningful life. But it is not a job just for the parents – we live in a culture that is not as ‘connected’ as it used to be. Many people are dislocated from family, busy at working multiple jobs, and challenged by the demands of our consumer and technological society.

We can easily find ourselves alone, even though we are surrounded by people.

The fact is that we need to take the opportunities that are afforded us – we need to be involved (appropriately) in the lives of our grandchildren, nephews, nieces, cousins, friends and neighbours – I am not talking about ‘butting in’ and imposing your values or attitudes upon them, I am talking about being available, being supportive, listening and understanding when that help is needed.

I learnt so much from my parents but if that was the only input I received I would not be the man I now am. I am thankful for others who had the courage and the determination to speak into my life and help me navigate through the various choices and twists I have taken.

When was the last time you made a choice and a determined effort to be a positive impact upon someone else – especially a child? It might be that this is a common pattern in your life or it might be something you used to do, or perhaps you have never thought about it…

My birds are all busy making sure the new chicks have every good thing they need.

Maybe it is time for us to share the load and help someone else become what they are destined to be. The Word of God challenges and calls us to… “Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.”     Galatians 6:2

Grief…how long?

“She seems very quiet and withdrawn, she hasn’t been sleeping well and she has had some bad dreams…is this normal?”

The little girl in question was about 7 years old and she was coming to terms with the fact that her father had died about a month ago after a fairly long battle with illness. The uncle and grandparents I was talking too were naturally concerned and they were asking the question that I find so many people need to ask.

A significant part of my job entails working with people who are facing grief and loss – it is not a part of the job to ‘enjoy’ but it is an important and special place where I am given the privilege to walk alongside people at some of their darkest moments.   The thing about grief is that we don’t really want to know too much about it, we don’t want to experience it and, if we could, we would chose to avoid it for the whole of our lives. However, the reality is that we all will face grief and loss at some time and it is good to be able to recognise it and help those who are facing it.

There is no simple or concise answer to the questions “How do you grieve?” or “How long does grief take?” Everyone is on their own journey and these questions will be influenced by your experience, your culture, the depth of relationship and any ‘complicating’ factors that may be present. One person will grieve one way and another totally differently.

For the inexperienced, grief looks strange, confronting and even a bit scary…people respond in unexpected ways and it can be unsettling. But the truth is that there is a range of responses that fall within the boundaries of what could be called “Normal Grief”. It is not a series of ‘stages’ to move through but a convoluted and twisted pathway which includes complex emotions and re-organisation of our lives. The deeper we love the deeper we grieve.

Quiet support, gentle understanding and appropriate time are the best things you can offer to assist those who are facing grief and loss. It is also helpful to point them towards someone who knows a bit about the process of grief they are traversing. The last resource I would recommend is the support and care of the Lord Jesus Himself who of course was “a man of sorrows and acquainted with grief.” Isaiah 53:3

If you are grieving today, I pray that peace and comfort will surround you…

Exceedingly abundantly above…

It seemed to happen everywhere I went – all throughout the day I ended up with more than I bargained for.

It started early in the morning – I walked up to the taxi rank and was told to head to bay number 6 and waiting for me was the biggest taxi I have ever seen; a 21 seater bus – I climbed aboard and we drove off – the cab was so big that I had to yell to the driver to tell him where we were headed. Arriving at my destination I found that the class I was lecturing had twice as many participants as I was expecting – another good problem but a little adjustment was needed. Next came lunch, a quick walk down the road led me to a sandwich shop but my request for a ham and salad roll ended with me being handed a sandwich that would make a Subway ‘foot-long’ look like a canapé!

At the end of the day I headed towards my hotel and for the first time I tried ‘Uber’ – the service was quick and efficient but the Hiace van (12 seater) was probably more than I really needed – there really was a pattern emerging.

I was dropped off at my hotel by my oversized transport, checked in and unlocked my room – not a room, not a suite, a fully fledged apartment – king-sized bed, double sink in the ensuite, full kitchen, 2 tvs, foxtel, more wardrobe space than at home and a massive balcony as well.

So I had a day filled with more than I needed and it was a good day – I have had many other days where the opposite has been true, the taxi too small, the lunch less than sufficient, the motel room so tiny that the door hits the bed as you walk in…but today was an exceedingly, abundant day!

I know that you have meet people who do more than you expect and I know that you have met people who habitually do less – but what is your perspective on God? Which category does He fall into?

Whilst not every day of my life is filled with sandwiches which are too large or apartments that are over the top, my experience is that the Lord is willing to shower me and those who seek Him with an abundance of the things which matter.

“…to Him who is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think, … to Him be glory … to all generations, forever” Ephesians 3:20–21

Hopefully you realise how much “more’ is available!

Made herself ready…

Six months of preparation culminates in a single day… invitations have been sent and answered, people are travelling in from far flung places, venues are booked and paid for, flowers and decorations are in place, dresses and suits are hanging in readiness, place-cards, table settings, music, cars, speeches, bonbonnieres, food, wine, and all manner of trimmings are all set and ready to go…

All that is left is for us all to get dressed and show up at the appointed time and I will have the incredible privilege of walking my daughter down the aisle and joining her hand in hand with my new son-in-law.   It is going to be a great day and one the whole family has been waiting for.

Whilst it has not been the only thing going on, this wedding (like all of them) has dominated its far share of time and effort. You want a wedding to be just right, to reflect the nature of the couple being married and to give it a sense of occasion and gravitas. Because of this, lists are written and re-written, checked and double-checked and finally it comes down to the moment where everyone just has to do what they are meant to do.

I have never been to a ‘perfect wedding’, there is always something that doesn’t go slightly to plan, someone forgets something or technology lets you down. But no matter what little things go wrong, the outcome has always been the same, the couple who walked in as ‘two’ leaves as ‘one’.

This wedding reminds me of another wedding we are all invited to attend…

“Let us be glad and rejoice and give Him glory, for the marriage of the Lamb has come, and His wife has made herself ready.” Revelation 19:7

Just like a normal wedding, there is some preparation involved; ‘The Bride’ (the people who choose to belong to God) has to make herself ready. It is inconceivable that my Daughter would forget to put on her dress, smudge her makeup and walk into the service in a pair of dirty, ripped jeans and a tee shirt.

I know the effort she has put in and how carefully she has prepared herself to look radiant for her husband. She will be ready…

So the time has come – our wedding is here and we are ready… but the question is, for the wedding which is yet to come which signals the culmination of the age – are you ready?

Unknown Assistance

Last night my wife took on an unwelcomed intruder who had ventured into our house. It was during the middle of the night that she first heard the intruder and then saw him – a large huntsman spider crawling up the wall of our bedroom.   At first she thought about letting the ugly critter remain but she knew that she would not have been comfortable nor able to get back to sleep if she did. So she stepped out of bed, put on all the lights and dealt with the problem…all of this happened with me blissfully ignorant and asleep in the bed.

If she hadn’t told me what she had done I would never have known and it made me think about what other things had happened for my benefit without me being aware.

I thought about the police force and intelligence communities who vigilantly keep our country safe from those who would seek to attack and spread terror; I thought of the researchers who are working behind the scenes to target diseases and make our crops more resilient to pests and rigours of our climate; I thought of the hundreds of people who do hundreds of little things to make our lives a little better and found myself amazingly grateful for them all.

It is so easy to take things for granted and remain unaware and unthankful – we live in a society that has so many benefits that we become callously attached to our comfort and we lament the loss of it loudly at the first sense of discomfort…

Being unaware of what someone has done for you leads to being ignorantly unthankful, this is not a great place to live – the person who has done the deed on your behalf can feel unappreciated and you as the recipient can appear unappreciative and entitled. The best answer to this problem is to regularly take stock of all the benefits which are present in your life.   Psalm 103:2 “Bless the Lord O my soul and forget not all of His benefits!”

There are so many things that the Lord and others have provided for you – make sure that you are not ‘asleep in the bed’ just enjoying them. Take a moment today to list the good things that God has done and the good things that other people have done for you – approach your life with thankfulness – it is a lot more enjoyable than any other option.